As a parent, I naturally want to do everything in my power to protect my kids from bullying. But as they’ve grown older and have begun school and extra-curricular activities etc they unfortunately (and inevitably) have encountered bullies. That's why I’ve made it a priority to regularly discuss bullying with them and making sure they know how to handle themselves in these situations.
Here are 10 things I want my kids (and yours) to know about bullying!
1. It's not your fault
Bullying is NEVER your fault!!
Remember that always! You are an important person, with valid feelings. You are worthy of respect and self-worth. There is nothing about you or wrong with you.
Bullying definitely says more about the bully, than it does you.
2. You are not alone
No matter what a bully tells you or wants you to believe, you are NOT alone. You ARE loved, wanted, appreciated, and admired by those who matter in your life!
Being bullied can make you feel like you are alone in this and alone in the world, but it’s just not true!
You are uniquely YOU! There is no one else like you in the whole world! You matter!
3. Tell a trusted adult if it becomes too much for you to handle on your own
Bullying is something that you shouldn’t deal with on your own. It is always a good idea to tell a trusted adult who can help support and advise you on how best to handle the situation. This person could be a parent, an aunt or uncle, a teacher, a doctor, a coach, or youth worker etc. Sometimes it’s helpful to have a list of trusted people prepared in advance, so you don’t need to even think about it if or when bullying takes place.
4. There is help available
There are many different sources of help available if you need help with bullying, here are some reliable sources you can access yourself anytime you may need it:
Kids Help Line
1800 55 1800
Any reason, any time. Kids Helpline offers a 24/7 telephone and online counselling and support service for young people aged 5–25 years.
Bully Zero
Australia’s largest bullying prevention organisation. With lots of advice and information available on their website
Headspace
1800 650 890
Headspace helps young people aged 12–25 years who are going through a tough time.
Lifeline
13 11 14
https://www.lifeline.org.au
Lifeline provides crisis support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for all ages. Call 13 11 14 or chat online every night.
5. Bullying is never okay
Everyone has the right to feel safe; to live, work, study and play in an environment free from bullying, harassment, discrimination, and violence.
No one deserves or asks to be bullied!
6. They can stand up for themselves and others
There’s always something you can do if you are experiencing or witnessing bullying, here are some ideas:
- Look at the kid or kids bullying you, tell them to stop in a calm, clear voice. Use their name to hold them accountable to their actions eg. “John, leave me alone please!” “Jane, stop calling them names please!”
- Don’t bully them back! Try and ignore and walk away, if speaking up is too hard.
- Laugh it off – if possible – to catch the person bullying you off guard.
- Find an adult to stop the bullying.
- Talk to a trusted adult; never keep your feelings inside.
- Keep your distance from the bully. Stay near adults and other kids and away from places bullying occurs.
- Make a plan to stop bullying with a trusted adult.
- Take time to do something nice for yourself. Journal, read some affirmation cards, go for a walk, catch up with some friends etc.
- Have someone help you report cyberbullying or assault. These things can be a criminal offence and can be reported to websites and even the police.
7. Bullying CAN hurt!
Bullying, whether physical or verbal can cause real harm to another person. Those suffering from bullying can experience:
- trouble sleeping
- lack of appetite
- trouble concentrating
- feeling down about yourself
- thoughts of self-harm
- feeling suicidal
- having trouble with schoolwork
- feeling hopeless or powerless
- feeling alone, sad, angry, or confused
- feeling afraid or unsafe
- lack of interest in hobbies
All these symptoms could be long lasting, well after the bullying stops.
8. Words have POWER
We have all heard the saying “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” but this could not be further from the truth! Words CAN hurt, deeply and these words can stay in our minds and thoughts of others forever!
These words can play over and over in their minds, impacting on their self-worth, self-confidence, and their happiness!
That being said, words can heal and empower as well!
It’s important to shut down our negative thoughts and replace them with even more positive ones. Practise positive affirmations regularly to remind yourself of how awesome and resilient you are!
Try to give compliments to remind your friends and family of their worth and how much you appreciate them too!
When your mind is strong in the belief that you are amazing just as you are (oh, and you ARE!!) it is very difficult for others to tell you otherwise!
9. Hurt people, hurt people
You might be wondering why do people bully others? The truth is there are a lot of different reasons such as:
- They feel jealous
- They want others to like them
- They want to feel better about themselves
- They are trying to hide their own insecurities or weaknesses
- They want to fit in with their friends
- They feel angry or sad inside
- They like to be in control or have power over others
- They have been bullied themselves
- They don’t know that what they are doing is wrong
Either way, it is usually because they are suffering in their own lives in some way themselves.
10. Just be kind!
You just never know what another person is going through, you can’t judge a book by it’s cover. It’s for this reason that the best policy it to just be kind!
Even to those who don’t seem to deserve it, just be kind. It is incredibly hard to continue to be unkind to someone who is always kind to you.
Lead by example and treat others the way you would like to be treated. Together we can make the world a kinder place for everyone!
As a parent, it is important to me that my kids know what bullying is and how to deal with this kind of behaviour. I hope these tips will help your children to know how to handle bullying too and to know that they don’t have to handle things alone. If you have any other tips, please share them in the comments section below. Let’s work together to create a generation of kids who are bullying free!