When I was pregnant, I remember reading a lot of blogs and books. I read about the amazing things my baby would do and the different milestones they would achieve. But there was one topic that wasn't really talked about, the connections we make with others and how they can benefit not only ourselves but also our children. As it turns out, those connections are pretty important!
Since becoming a mum, I've realised just how important it is to form connections with family and friends for advice and support. How important it is for kids to grow healthy connections with friends to help them to navigate through all the challenges of growing up. How important it is for us to all learn from other generations, cultures, beliefs, etc. Whether it be with our friends, family or partners, or colleagues, growing connections in these relationships are so important and can shape our lives in a big way. And as it turns out, forming these meaningful connections are just as important and beneficial for our children too!
According to CHF of Australia*, growing connected relationships helps prevent feelings of loneliness but has many, many health benefits; both mental and physical!
Having connected relationships in our lives makes us feel happier, more content and fulfilled in our lives, more confident, empowered, and even improves mental health outcomes, immunity, and general overall physical health!!
Risks of illnesses such as dementia, heart disease, stroke, obesity, and cancer are all reduced. What parent doesn’t want those benefits for their children, am I right?!
According to Better Health Channel**, there are 3 main connections we all need in our lives:
- Intimate Connections; are those with those you love such as family, partners, children, and close friends.
- Relational Connections; are those who you see and connect with often like colleagues, school friends, your doctor, etc.
- Collective Connections; are those with who you share common interests or values with you such as supporting the same sports team, following the same spiritual path, etc.
The first way to nurture and strengthen your connections is to reach out to the people you already know family, school friends, or neighbours. For our kids: school friends, teachers, teammates.
Give someone a call, send them a letter or an email to let them know they’re in your thoughts and you would like to catch up. Arrange to have a coffee or a meal, see a movie, go for a walk, or play a game. Facebook and other social media are also great ways to stay in touch sometimes, but they should not be relied upon.
Another is to reach out to make some new friends! A few suggestions on how to find new connections is to find a local parenting group, community group or volunteer program, join a sporting club/team, or community social or youth group to participate in.
If you find conversations hard with someone new, my trick is to come prepared with 3-5 questions you’d like to ask and 3-5 interesting things about yourself that you’re happy to discuss. If your child is on the hunt they can use this same strategy too, just keep it simple 2-3 things to begin with and give them a chance to practice with you prior. There is nothing worse than feeling stuck in awkward silence or appearing uninterested when it couldn’t be further from the truth.
On a more personal note, most don’t know that I’m a long-term sufferer of social anxiety. I crave connections just like everyone else, but the act of engaging socially can feel overwhelming (at least initially) and take a lot out of me. Since becoming a mother I have put in a lot of hard work to overcome these feelings to grow and nurture the relationships in my life and be a good role model for my two girls. These skills have been invaluable as a small business owner. I once again have been reminded of how connecting to other like-minded people can be so very rewarding!! Most importantly since focusing on connections and social interaction with my children I have seen a huge shift in their confidence, curiosity, maturity, empathy, and overall moods just to name a few!
Nurturing our relationships and connections is not only important for our mental health and well-being but for our physical health as well. Our brains are constantly making new connections and strengthening the old ones. The more we nurture those relationships, the better our lives will be. It’s important to remember that spending time with loved ones doesn’t have to mean a big night out or even leaving home, it can simply be a matter of reaching out to someone you care about, in person or via phone, letter, text or email. What matters is showing that you care and taking the time to connect.
What will you do today to start nurturing the connections in your life?
Resources:
*(the unnoticed epidemic facing us today, according to CHF of Australia https://chf.org.au/media-releases/time-national-action-loneliness-unnoticed-epidemic)
**(https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/Strong-relationships-strong-health)